Tovi Belfer Sanford

This is the mask I made for my Halloween costume this year. It had been so long since I had sat down and finished an art project like this, that it made me quite sad to reflect on. I remember looking at my T-Popper and thinking about how much I miss small things like this, finding it funny how easily I forgot the things that I liked doing the most. I had stopped doing these kinds of things primarily due to perceived lack of time, and severe lack of motivation. I had begun to think that I didn’t enjoy doing anything, but I was just shirking doing the things I really loved. I spend time sketching and singing and playing guitar alone in my room, and wonder why I don’t feel fulfilled. But now I know it’s because I’m not making things for people to see, I’m not performing for anyone; and that’s all I’ve ever really wanted to do.Doing the XLab Halloween experience gave me a small taste of that again, I was performing in a way. I got to build and create and people got to see it and have fun. I got to bring people joy through something I had made. It re-inspired the part of me that longs to have a spotlight to share joy with others. I had been struggling for a while about feeling that I had nothing to offer people, no way to use my passion and talents to do good where I saw it was needed, but now I understand; even if it’s just a little something, any bit of joy given is doing good. I had taken this for granted, forgotten that as I have been inspired and comforted by creators I love, that I also have the capacity for bringing that kind of comfort.